Friday, March 07, 2008

Smoking bans violate religious freedoms

Clearing the Air was recently informed that there is a religion in need of protection.

The Latter Day Church of Free Choice is new religious order, based on a great respect for nature and the free choice of adults in a free society, and eschewing traditional religious beliefs and customs.

The Latter Day Church of Free Choice’s religious services are held outside of traditional churches, temples and mosques in favor of bringing religion to the people in collegial, social settings (formerly known as bars, taverns or clubs). Services are not constrained to fit fixed time periods, but are free-flowing exchanges of fellowship.

Services of the Latter Day Church of Free Choice are celebrated by unordained lay ministers, which the church calls “bartenders.” Parishioners in the Latter Day Church of Free Choice are known as “customers.” The altar is typically a serving surface (sometimes known as a “bar”), on which is placed one or more “Holy Ashtray(s) of the Midwest.”

The Latter Day Church of Free Choice’s parishes can be established whenever and wherever unordained lay ministers (“bartenders”) wish to minister to parishioners (“customers”) or when parishioners (“customers”) wish to be ministered to by unordained lay ministers (“bartenders”). There is no limit to the number of parishes of the Latter Day Church of Free Choice.

Services begin when an unordained lay minister (“bartender”) holds a Holy Ashtray of the Midwest on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this Thy Holy Ashtray of the Midwest that with it Thou mayest striketh a blow against Thine enemies of free choice, in Thy mercy.” Or, alternatively, the unordained lay minister (“bartender”) can say, “What can I get you?” or “The usual?” or “How about a nice cold beer?” or words to that effect. The Latter Day Church of Free Choice is, after all, all about choice.

Services are not limited to a particular day of the week—indeed, services can be conducted any time there is an unordained lay minister (“bartender”) present with at least one parishioner (“customer”).

The Latter Day Church of Free Choice’s sacraments include ingesting wine, spirits and/or fermented malt beverages (made from naturally occurring fruits and grains), along with inhaling the sacred smoke of the naturally occurring leaf known as Nicotiana tabacum. Taking of the Latter Day Church of Free Choice’s sacraments is a fundamental part of the religion’s practices.

The Latter Day Church of Free Choice is protected and its practices fully guaranteed by the First Amendment of the United States Constitution (“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…”).

Affirmation of this groups religious practice not causing harm to non-believers can be found here:

Air quality testing by Johns Hopkins University, the American Cancer Society, a Minnesota Environmental Health Department, and various researchers whose testing and report was peer reviewed and published in the esteemed British Medical Journal......prove that secondhand smoke is 2.6 - 25,000 times SAFER than occupational (OSHA) workplace regulations:

More information about this group is found here:

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